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Ripped Pants Transcript

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Crossing The Road

We see an old lady near a road at a bus stop


SpongeBob: SpongeBob SquarePants at your service, for I am an honorary crossing guard.


SpongeBob helps her cross the road


Old Lady: But I don’t…

SpongeBob: Yep, you’re safe with me.


The Old Lady hits SpongeBob on the head with her umbrella


Old Lady: You made me miss my bus!

SpongeBob: We’ll see about that!


The Old Lady jumps on SpongeBob’s back, SpongeBob tries to catch up with the bus


Old Lady: Yeee---haw!


SpongeBob’s shoe bursts, making him trip over, the Old Lady flies in the air, spins on a lamppost and lands on the bus


Old Lady: Thank you, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Oh you’re… (car runs him over)… welcome.

Anything for Baby

SpongeBob gets on a bus


SpongeBob: Morning!


SpongeBob sits down, a bay starts crying, he thinks of a way to stop the baby crying


SpongeBob slips out the bus and the baby sees him hanging from the window, the baby stops crying


SpongeBob pulls some silly faces to stop the baby crying


SpongeBob sees a sign heading for him


SpongeBob: AAAHHHH!!!


SpongeBob hits the sign, the baby smiles and giggles


SpongeBob: YES!


SpongeBob falls off the sign that says “Bikini Bottom – 300 Miles.”

Flowers For Sandy

SpongeBob is carrying some items, then stops to look at the calendar


SpongeBob: I almost forgot, it’s surprise Sandy day! The only question is how to surprise her.


SpongeBob tunnels to Sandy’s house, he can see Sandy doing something, he quickly runs inside


Sandy: Hello?


Sandy sees a letter on her table


Sandy: What in tarnation? “To Sandy, the smartest, prettiest squirrel in Bikini Bottom, signed a friend.”


We see SpongeBob giggling on the roof


Sandy: (sarcastically) Heh-heh, I wonder who it could be from.


She sees SpongeBob running

My Money

Mr. Krabs: Time to count me money.


Mr. Krabs opens his safe to find there’s no money in there


Mr. Krabs: My money! SQUIDWARD!


Mr. Krabs holds Squidward upside down to get the money out



SpongeBob: I know who took your money.

Mr. Krabs: Tell me and I’ll let you watch as I tear him into a thousand little pieces, mush him back together and tear him into a thousand pieces all over again.

SpongeBob: (Cries) It was me, Mr. Krabs! Please don’t tear me into a thousand little pieces, mush me back together and tear me into pieces again.

Mr. Krabs: Why, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: To clean and polish it.


Mr. Krabs carries SpongeBob into the kitchen to see clean money


Mr. Krabs: Why, I’ll be a sea monkey’s outcome.


SpongeBob is now in Mr. Krabs’ safe


Mr. Krabs: Here’s another batch, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: I’m on it, Mr. K.

Mr. Krabs: Me money never looked better. Thanks, SpongeBob!


SpongeBob and Patrick are making a pie, they put ingredients in it, SpongeBob puts sweets in it, Patrick puts in some toys and his shorts, and Gary puts in a bone


SpongeBob squishes them into the pie and adds the top to the pie, he then puts it on the grill


SpongeBob: Ahh, pie fried on the grill. Declinature intended.


Patrick tries to hold the pie but it is too hot


Patrick: AAAHHHH!


SpongeBob takes the pie wearing oven gloves and puts it by the window, Squidward (who is outside) smells it and eats the pie.


SpongeBob and Patrick walk outside


SpongeBob: Squidward, have you seen our pie? The one we spent all morning cooking, just for you!

Squidward: I’m sure it’ll turn up.


Squidward burps up Patrick’s shorts


SpongeBob: Hey Patrick, we found your shorts.

Patrick: Hooray!

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